Short Final

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Regional Approach: Citation 123, please give a cloud description on your descent ...Citation 123: They're white ... Regional Approach: ... Citation 123: Just kidding. Tops were jagged 5,000 down to 4,500 ... Regional Approach: I literally had nothing to say to that. More

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Not many controllers away from the northern border of the U.S. are familiar with Canada’s alphabetic aircraft registration system and it can cause confusion ... C-ABCD: XXXX tower this Canadian Civil  Charlie Alpha Bravo Charlie Delta. Request runway in use ... No response ... C-ABCD: Again XXXX tower Canadian Civil Charlie Alpha Bravo Charlie Delta requesting runway in use ... No response ... C-ABCD: Wichita tower, Canadian Civil Charlie Alpha Bravo Charlie Delta requesting runway in use ... XXXX Tower: Canadian alphabet soup aircraft calling XXXX Tower please say again. More

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On Presidents' Day weekend, POTUS had West Palm Beach shut down with his TFR. Boca was swamped with corporate and private traffic trying to avoid the TFR restrictions. We were sitting in a long line waiting for departure, with numerous jets lined up for arrival, when a weekend warrior called up tower inbound asking for touch and goes. The tower controller told him to remain clear for now, but the pilot continued to call with his own ideas on how he could fit in. After a couple more denials, the controller finally issued instructions ... Tower ... "Look out your window, pick a landmark, and do 360s around it until I call you back " ... Weekend Warrior: " Left or Right?" ... My captain, looking at me: "Some people just don't get it do they?". Gene Ford More

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While flying from the northeast to south Florida last week it was bumpy at all altitudes and everyone was trying to find a better ride. I overheard this conversation with ATC ... United XYZ: Jax Center, were getting a rough ride here at 360. Do you have anything smoother? ... Jax Center: Yes, I-95 ... United XYZ (after much laughter): "Can we have that?" ... Jax Center: Sure, let me know when you see asphalt ... Frank McKee More

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On a recent trip to visit my inlaws, I was passing by an airport on my way when I heard this exchange ... Cessna1234: Tower, Cessna 1234 is ready for takeoff ... Tower: Cessna 1234 you are cleared for takeoff Runway 24. Say direction of flight ... Cessna 1234: Cleared for takeoff Runway 24, Direction of Flight ... Tower: Which way are you heading? ... Cessna 1234: Oh! Heading southeast ... Karl Vogelheim More

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I was listening to Unicom at my local airport in Northwest Ohio when I heard the following exchange between two jets on the ramp ... Citation 1234: Taxiing to runway 18 for departure ... Lear 5678: You going to Columbus?... Citation: Yeah ... Lear: Wanna race? ... Citation: That's not fair, you're in a Lear! ... Ben Stevens More

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Years ago, new GPS approaches were commissioned at Houma, LA (KHUM) and the FAA King Air was flight checking them ...Tower: “Report JOBUP.” ... King Air after delay: “JOBUP.” ... Another aircraft: "Are you guys naming these after your kids, now?" More

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Providence Approach: King Air 1234 contact Bradley Approach on 123.95 ... Providence Approach: King Air 1234 contact Bradley Approach on 123.95 ... Providence Approach: King Air 1234 - contact Bradley Approach on 123.95 ... King Air 1234: (Scratchy static) Here,  you reply from your seat. This PTT is a POS ... Graeme Smith More

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Often the hardest part of flying into a big Class B airport is finding your way around on the ground. After landing at Washington Dulles, I heard this exchange on the ground frequency ... Hawker: "Ground, Hawker xxx, uh, we're having some trouble finding Foxtrot" ... Ground: "Hawker xxx, where are you?" ... Hawker: "We're at Zulu and Zulu 2." ... Ground: "Go south on Zulu." ... (delay) ... Hawker: "Ground, Hawker xxx, sorry, but we still can't seem to find it." ... Ground: "OK yeah, just keep going, you have another 2 miles to go." Jonathan Wang More

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While we were preparing to shut down at a tie down spot at Henderson Airport, Las Vegas, ground control was directing a taxiing Piper ... Ground: ”Cherokee Nxxxx, say your destination." ... Cherokee:"Uhh, we're not sure where we're going. We're just following the van in front of us (the "follow-me" van)." ... Ground (chuckling):“I mean when you depart the airport." ... Cherokee: "Oh, we'll be returning to Long Beach in about an hour.” ... Ground: "Roger." ... Dan Jay More