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On a flight from Panama City, Florida to Asheville, North Carolina, I heard ATC asking another aircraft if his transponder was on to which the reply was: "We're putting quarters in the slot now." -- Ray Mansfield More

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Many years ago, as a student pilot sitting on the ramp at Kansas City Downtown Airport, I was in the plane with my instructor listing to "information whiskey" on the ATIS recording when we heard a high-pitched squeal followed by laughter on the tape. ... My instructor turned to me and said: "Sounds like there's a little too much whiskey in the tower." ... The we contacted ground control for more sober taxi instructions. -- John Morris More

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Recently, on flight following above Santa Barbara on a beautifully clear afternoon, approach was uncomfortably quiet. After several minutes of silence I called: ... Mooney 1234: "Approach, Mooney 1234. Is there anybody there to talk to?" ... Approach: "Mooney 1234, say request." ... Mooney 1234: "Just checking to see if it really is this quiet." ... Approach: "Yes, it really is." ... [Pause.] ... Approach: "Mooney 1234, contact L.A. Center on 135.5. You'll find somebody to talk to there." ... I took the hint. ... Mooney 1234: "135.5. Thanks." -- Ron Shave More

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An airline en route to [airport redacted] asked ATC if the had any smooth rides. ... Controller: "You won't find a smooth ride until you taxi into the gate." ... Pilot: "You haven't been [airport redacted] lately. The taxiways are just as bad as this ride!" -- Kirk Johnson More

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While landing in BOI last week, we overheard this great question from a pilot: ... Tower: "Cessna 123, turn left, heading 210, runway 28L; cleared for takeoff." ... Cessna: "Cleared for takeoff, Cessna 123." ... Tower: "Cessna 123, also: Turn left, heading 210." ... Cessna: "You want that after we takeoff, right?" ... Tower: "Yes, that would be best." ... I could barely read back our taxi-off clearance. We and tower were laughing too hard. -- Jay G. More

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ATC: "Citation N1234, climb via the SID, but do not exceed 200 knots." ... Citation N1234: "Roger. Climb via the SID; do not exceed 200 knots." ... [A few moments pass.] ... ATC: "Citation N1234, resume normal speed." ... Citation N1234: "This IS our normal speed!" -- Brian Conway More

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A few years ago, I flew into RDU really late at night to drop off a couple of folks. On the way out, taxiing down to 5R, ground control called out. ... Ground Control: "Twin Cessna, where are you going?" ... Me: "To 5R." ... Ground Control: "You were cleared to 5L." ... Me: "Would you like me to do a 180 and go to 5L?" ... Ground Control: "Go ahead and do a 360 and proceed to 5R." ... I continued but left out the turn! -- Michael K. More

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I just now heard this while listening to the McKinney, Texas (KTKI) tower: ... N1234: "McKinney Tower, N1234 is 10 east, inbound at 2,500 for touch-and-goes." ... Tower: "N1234, ident." ... N1234: "Ahhh. Uh. I am about 10 east at 2,500; heading: 270 a red-and-white Cessna 172." ... Tower: "N1234, just press the 'ident' button on your transponder please." ... N1234: "Oh, O. K." -- Ron Dawes More

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Back in the late '90s, as a radio operator on MC-130E Combat Talons, I was returning to EGI from the East Coast. ... As I neared home, the pilot asked: "R. O., see if we can get lower." ... I asked ATC for lower, as directed by the pilot. The kind folks at ATC denied our request. ... The pilot was not happy, but, as we maintained altitude, I heard one crewmember ask why they denied us. ... To which I replied: "Just another case of The Man keeping us up." ... I got silence from the crew, but giggles could be heard off mic. -- Steve More

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Going through Air Force pilot training at what was Williams Air Force Base (now Phoenix-Mesa Gateway Airport), we used tactical call signs for our training flights, and one of those was "Foe." ... The numeric portion of the call sign was determined by the last two digits (minutes) of your scheduled takeoff time. One day, a good old boy from Georgia was the lead pilot for a four-ship training mission of T-38s scheduled to take off at 44 minutes past the hour. ... You can imagine what it sounded like in his Southern drawl when he called: "Willy Tower, this is Foe 4-4 with four for takeoff." -- Rich Martindell More