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Climbing out of my home airport with our friendly (and funny) tower controllers, I heard ... Tower: Cardinal XYZ, check transponder ... XYZ: Turning it on, sorry, guys, XYZ ... Tower: Cardinal XYZ, never admit your mistakes on frequency, just say it was warming up ... XYZ: All warmed up! XYZ ... Tower: That's the spirit ... Daniel Rasin More

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Walla Walla Regional Airport (KALW) tower provided instructions to an incoming flight.... "Cessna XXXXXX, incoming Alaska Q400 number two behind you. Make your best speed."... Response: "Walla Walla Tower, Cessna XXXXXX is a 152 and I'm pedaling as fast as I can!"...Mark Carlile More

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During a formation flying clinic near Redmond, OR (KRDM) one fine spring day ... Lead: "Alex, never tell anyone I said this, but you look very pretty right there." ... Redmond Tower: "Good thing you said that for the whole world to know." More

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The following was heard as my wife and I were flying our Mooney over the northern tip of the Great Salt Lake a few days ago and communicating with Salt Lake Center ... Transient aircraft: "Center, do you have time for a question?" ... SL Center: ”Sure, go ahead." ... Transient aircraft: ”OK, this is the $65 question. Looking below, we can see a train track, shoreline and a reddish area with what look like waves. What is that all about?" ... Silence for a short while, then a response from an airliner: "My daughter is a PhD biologist and explained to me that the red color comes from Halobacteria growing in the salt water." ... Transient aircraft: "Thank you very much! You win the $65 prize and we greatly appreciate the explanation!" ... SL Center: "That's a whole lot better than any explanation we could come up with here at Center." ... Another short pause ... Airliner: ”That PhD cost a lot more than $65." ... The exchange is somewhat paraphrased, other than the punchline. We were laughing too hard by the end for me to copy the exact dialogue. Dan Robertson More

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Heard on a recent flight ... ATC: Skymaster 12345 clear to land ... 12345: I don't know about a "Master" but my instructor thinks Im a pretty good pilot. Clear to land thanks ... Greg Mills Greg Mills More

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I was flying an A-36 Bonanza through the SFO Class Bravo a few years ago and there was quite a bit of airline traffic departing at the time. ATC advised me of a Southwest 737 climbing out at my 1 o'clock and I let them know I had it in sight...They then spoke to the Southwest Flight "Southwest 9999 traffic 3 o'clock 2 miles, a Bonanza level 4 thousand" ... Southwest: "Southwest 9999, we're looking" A few seconds later, "Southwest 9999, Tally-ho, we've got the doctor in sight" .... I guess nowadays the "doctor" would be in a Cirrus - Colin Smith More

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Overheard while flying through the New York Class B airspace: ... Pilot: Departure ABC 795 off 14L climbing to 5000'. ... Controller: Is this 725 or 795? ... Pilot: What did I say? ... Controller: 795. ... Pilot: Oh sorry, I guess this is 725. ... Controller: Don't worry about it, I mix up call signs all day. ... Pilot: Yeah, but I only have one call sign to screw up. -- Ed Abrams More

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We were inbound to Auckland after a long 12-hour Pacific sector through the night. It was around 5:00am, and there were four other wide-body inbounds (787s, 767s, and 777s) arriving about the same time. Auckland Control was doing a no-nonsense job, without any chit-chat, when the terminal information changed due to a pressure difference (hectopascals down here, not inches). ... She read it out as: "All stations inbound Auckland, new information: Charlie, QNH niner, niner, niner. And nobody better say 'Batman.'" ... The four of us sat there on our flight deck for what seemed like ages, all thinking: "What? 'Batman'?" ... when one of the second officers suddenly called out: "Oh! Niner, niner, niner, niner — Batman!" ... We all laughed so loud the cabin crew said they heard us down the back! ... No one said "Batman" on the radio, either. -- Callum T More

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This dates back many years, to March 1989. I was transporting a heart for transplant, together with a doctor and nurse, from the southwest of England to Papworth Hospital near Cambridge. Because it was the middle of the night, the only open runway nearby was a USAF Alconbury. ... As I approached, I was asked a question which is commonplace in the States, but not used at all over here: "How many souls on board?" ... I could only answer: "That is a very tricky question, which philosophers have struggled with for centuries." -- Timothy Nathan More

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I was tuned to Indy Center yesterday and heard this exchange with a plane on flight following. ... Indy Center: "Cessna 12345, contact Indy Center on 124.62." ... Cessna 12345: "Can I have something that doesn't end in a '2' or a '7'?" ... Indy Center: "What was that request?" ... Cessna 12345: "Can I have a frequency doesn't end in a '2' or a '7'? My radio can only tune to frequencies that end in a '5' or a '0.'" ... [After a pause.] ... Indy Center: "Cessna 12345, we've got nothing for you. Radar Services terminated. Squawk VFR. Frequency change approved." ... Remember: You have to "pull" out the small knob on some older radios to tune in ".25" or ".75." -- Evan Jones More