While working approach control at Columbus, Georgia several years ago I had this exchange with a pilot: Cessna 123: "Columbus Approach, Cessna 123." Me: "Cessna 123, Columbus Approach." Cessna 123: "Columbus Approach, how far is it from here to where I'm at?" Just try to answer that with a straight face! Bruce Hargis via e-mail More
One day, while flying over the Rockies with a strong jet stream and many turbulence reports in the Denver airspace, I heard Denver Center ask for ride reports. United 123: "Good day, Denver. United 123 with you at FL 350." Denver Center: "Roger, United 123. How's your ride?" United 123: "Well, the captain is having his lunch, and he just jabbed himself with his fork; so we could call it as moderate turbulence." Denver Center: "Thanks, United 123. Break, break. Air Canada 456, how's your ride at FL350?" Air Canada 456: "Sorry, Denver, we can't tell. We haven't eaten yet." John Duckmanton via e-mail More
After a local excursion to exercise my C-172 engine, I returned to my local airport. There was a helicopter in the area providing position reports. After I announced downwind, the helicopter came on the radio: Helicopter: "Do you know anything about the airplane crash this morning?" Me: "No. I have been out of the area, haven't heard anything." An unidentified source, critical of the excess publicity airplane accidents receive: "If you want to know what happened, listen to the news." [A long pause.] Helicopter: "We are the news." Angus McCamant via e-mail More
Our tower does periodic checks. About mid-day, I heard on the scanner: Salem Tower: "Tower test for tapes. One, two, three. Three, two, one. Test out." A Local Aircraft: "Salem tower, loud and clear. N12345." Salem Tower: "Aircraft N12345: Frequency change approved." Mary Ann Lebold via e-mail More
Realizing that I had not practiced an engine-out approach in too long, I decided to "fail" my Lycoming while doing touch-and-goes at Jacksonville's Herlong airport. Me: "Cherokee 69T. Simulated engine-out and short approach." [After a few moments, I saw that I would be seriously short.] Me: "Cherokee 69T again, simulating getting my engine back on!" (The next try was spot-on.) Milford Shirley via e-mail More
While working local Control (tower) as a newly minted Air Force controller in the '60s, I often got requests from local pilots for practice DF steers, [our location] having one of the last DFs in the area. The DF console was located on the opposite side of the tower from Local, and I had a number of T-33s trying to land when the following exchange occurred: T-33: "Laughlin Tower, AF123. Request practice DF steer." Me: "AF123, unable on account of traffic." [long pause] T-33: "Then how about a real one?" Of course, I issued the steer. Ray Laughinghouse via e-mail More
Sad but true. I was en route to Winchester, north of the DC area, when I heard a pilot in a Piper making this request: Piper: "I am low on fuel and need to go direct Martinsburg." Potomac: "Sir, I cannot give you direct Martinsburg. That route would take you through P40." Piper: "But I am low on fuel and need direct Martinsburg." Potomac: "Sir, if you are concerned about fuel I can give you vectors to Gaithersburg." Piper: "If you give me direct Martinsburg, I won't need to stop for fuel." Potomac: "Sir, If you went direct Martinsburg from your position, it would put you right in the middle of P40 and fuel would be the least of your worries." June Smith via e-mail More
I heard this going into Los Angeles International Airport on SoCal approach frequency: Approach: "Airliner 123, turn right, heading 180, for spacing." Airliner 123: "Right turn, 180. Airliner 123. What's up?" Approach: "Well, our computers have the ability to suggest a specific vector to help us get the required spacing. So the computer says you gotta go south for a while." Airliner 123: "Oh. Well, our computer says that direct to the airport for the visual will work." Approach (laughing) : "Yeah, but my computer trumps your computer." Frank Bowlin via e-mail More
I was flying a particularly noisy pusher seaplane back to KPIE one day. These things have the engine right over your head and between the straight-through exhaust and prop swinging by the fuselage. They are super noisy. On my first radio call to the tower, they came back with: "Transmission unreadable. Just a loud noise." I keyed up again, using my loud voice: "Just a second. Let me shut off the engine." The tower replied: "No! Nooo!" It was then obvious to me that my intention to go to idle power had been misinterpreted ... . Mike Dwyer via e-mail More
While ferrying an airplane from Michigan to Florida, we heard a friendly exchange between a male controller and a female pilot. The pilot was not having a great day and was not too happy about flying. Controller: "At least you have a nice view. I'm stuck in a dark room just looking at guys." Pilot: "It's not much better up here, sir." My female pilot and I both burst out laughing. Stephen Ritter via e-mail More
Although AOPA’s Summit show in Fort Worth this week may mark the end of an era, it didn’t necessarily feel like that in the exhibit hall on Friday. Foot traffic was up and down throughout the show and vendors we're mulling their next moves for show attendance. More
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Brian Snider of Alliston, ON (Canada) went all the way to Croatia to bring back our latest blue ribbon photo.
