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Heard over north central Florida: ... Cirrus 123CD: "Jacksonville Center, Cirrus 123CD. 5,000." ... Jacksonville Approach: "Mooney 123CD, altimeter 30.05. Fly heading 220." ... [no reply] ... Jacksonville Approach: "Mooney 123CD, fly heading 220." ... Cirrus 123CD: "Sir, was that for 123CD? Because you keep calling us a Mooney, but we are a Cirrus." ... Jacksonville Approach: "Well, if you keep calling me 'Center,' I'm going to keep calling you a Mooney." ... Later in the flight, when Jax handed us off to the tower: ... Me: "Going to the tower. Thanks for all the help today, 'Center.'" ... [pause] ... Jacksonville Approach: "Ouch!" -- Bradley Spatz More

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In 2009, I was making multiple flights around the southeast U.S. and landed in Columbia, South Carolina at Columbia Downtown Airport (KCUB) on multiple occasions for business. The runway at KCUB is parallel and adjacent to an active railyard. ... After contacting the KCUB tower for my IFR departure clearance on a clear VFR day, the controller came back with a strong southern drawl: "1234V, cleared for departure, runway 31. Verify you can maintain train clearance." ... I said puzzled: "Say again, Columbia tower?" ... The controller repeated: "1234V, verify you can maintain train clearance." ... I puzzled over that for a few moments and replied: "I'm sorry. I don't understand your request." ... The controller, now a little frustrated, said: "1234V, can you avoid hitting the buildings and the trees?" ... I replied: "Ohhhh. 'Maintain terrain clearance.' Yes, I can maintain terrain clearance!" ... The controller resonded: "1234V, cleared for takeoff, runway 31. Have a good day!" -- Robert Jones More

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On a training flight between Terre Haute, Indiana and Indianapolis, Indiana, I heard the following exchange between Hulman (Terre Haute) Approach and a Cessna 172 requesting flight following: ... N12345: "Are you enjoying your Saturday?" ... Hulman Approach: "Negative. I'm at work." -- John Sutherland More

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Phoenix approach asked a GA aircraft: "N1234, how far are you from your present position?" ... They were greeted with silence. -- Randy Richmond More

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We were flying into Birmingham, Alabama at about 2:00am on a Sunday morning. The sky was clear with great visibility. Birmingham has an ILS to runway 6, and the final approach fix is MCDEN. After checking in with Birmingham Approach, we were told to fly "direct to MCDEN for the McVisual approach." -- John Young More

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While flying from Chicago to Bismarck, North Dakota on New Year's Day, my co-pilot and I were monitoring 121.5 when someone asked if anybody had any New Year's resolutions. ... Without skipping a beat, my co-pilot keyed the mic and responded: "Yeah, NOT talking on Guard!" ... To which someone else responded: "Yeah, me too." -- Jim Burns More

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This occurred on a flight from Cincinnati to Roanoke, Virginia around 2005, give or take a couple years; I'm too lazy to look up the actual date in my logbook but remember that flight distinctly. I was the pilot monitoring, and John, the captain, was the pilot flying. We were approaching from the west, heading east, towards the ROA VOR. We were handed off to Roanoke Approach and, on initial contact, heard this. ... Approach: "Airliner 123, cross 3-0 No, make that 2-0 miles to the east No, make that to the west of ROA at 1-1 No, make that 1-0 thousand and 2-5-0 knots No, make that 2-0-0 knots." ... I looked at John and managed: "Huh?" ... John smiled and said: "I've got this one." ... He pushed the transmit switch and, with his Minnesota accent, proceeded to read back: "Airliner 123. Understand: 'Cross 3-0 No, make that 2-0 miles to the east No, make that to the west of ROA at 1-1 No, make that 1-0 thousand and 2-5-0 No, make that 2-0-0 knots.'" ... I was laughing so hard I had tears running down my cheeks but I think I heard Approach manage: "Roger." -- Darren Burger More

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Last November, I transported 40 endangered sea turtles (stranded on Cape Cod) from the Boston area to a turtle rescue center center in Georgia. I put "transporting endangered sea turtles" in the comments section of my IFR flight plan and had two interesting exchanges on the trip. /// Providence Approach (PVD): "69 Tango, how's your cargo doing?" ... Me (after looking at them): "One is looking out the window through a hole in the box." ... PVD: "That's awwwesome." /// New York Approach (NY): "69 Tango, they normally don't allow the routing you requested, but I really like what yer doin' with dem sea turtles, so let me see what I can do." ... Me: "Roger. Thanks!" ... NY: "69 Tango, you are cleared direct JFK; direct destination." /// Happy to report all sea turtles made it to destination, recovered, and have been released to the ocean. -- James Rose More

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While landing a Beech Sierra at Sioux City Gateway Airport (KSUX) one blustery summer day (winds 32, gusting to 40, more or less straight down the runway), I chose to use full flaps in an attempt to achieve the minimum possible landing roll -- just for practice. ... Well the gusts got the best of me. I'd just get the mains wheels down, and a gust would put me back in the air three or four feet. After three attempts, the plane finally landed and stayed landed on the fourth. ... Humbled and somewhat embarrassed, I radioed tower: "How'd you like that landing?" ... The reply was prompt: "Which one?" -- Hugh Bennett (Gillette, WY) More

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Fort Wayne Approach: "NXXX, switch to tower on 119.1." ... NXXX: "Switching to tower on 119.1." ... NXXX: "Fort Wayne tower, this is NXXX with you." ... Fort Wayne Approach: "NXXX, you are still on the approach frequency." ... NXXX: "I was just practicing." -- Robb Rosebrook More