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I was recently flying my Mooney into an airport in Colorado. ... Listening on the CTAF, I heard a Citation X announce: "Citation N1234 about 15 miles west, landing." ... Trying to be accommodating, I replied: "Citation, Mooney is about five miles out, but I'll go to the VOR, then return and follow you. You're burning a lot more fuel than I am." ... Just after that, a voice came on the radio saying: "Mooney, don't do that. Make HIM go to the VOR. I'm selling fuel here at the FBO." -- M. Dymond More

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This past week I watched the Wings Over Wine Country Air Show practice from my hangar at KSTS. I was listening to the tower on my handheld. While I was listening, three different pilots wandered into the TFR, causing the rehearsals to be delayed. The fourth time it happened was when the Canadian Snowbirds had just started their routine. The tower notified them they would have to stop until the offender left the zone. ... One of the Snowbirds then asked the tower: "What's with all these pilots busting the TFR?" ... The tower responded: "Welcome to Sonoma County. They drive like that, too." -- Scott Peterson More

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Call came in for a fuel order: "Can you send the fuel truck for ship 1 and ship 2?" ... The reply came back: "I am sorry sir we don"t do boats." -- Basilio More

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I had dispatched a solo student on his cross-country trip. The route took him over some higher terrain -- about 2,000 feet higher than his departure airport. As usual, I was listening on frequency to hear him clear the zone on route when he called flight service. ... Pilot: "The sky is falling, and I will be returning back." ... Flight Service: "I'll advise Hatty Patty the sky is falling and you will be returning to base." -- Patty Simpson More

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Normal afternoon ground transmissions, when, out of nowhere: ... Unidentified Pilot: "Yeah, they have fajitas, enchiladas, burritos, quesadillas, fish tacos -- they got everything!" ... [a short silence] ... Ground: "Uhh, you just broadcasted that on BWI Ground." ... [another short silence] ... (A Different) Unidentified Pilot: "Sounded delicious, though." -- Shawn Byers More

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Back when I was a student pilot in Navy Flight School, I was flying solo along the beach, conducting precision aerobatics practice. As I finished a barrel roll and set up for a loop, I heard a student-and-instructor aircraft check in to the area, and the exchange went like this. ... Instructor: "Solo aircraft 123, was that you that just did the barrel roll and loop?" ... Me (half-expecting an observed critique from the instructor): "Solo 123. Affirmative." ... Instructor: "Solo 123, I have a FAM-1 [new student] here that wants to be just like you when he grows up!" ... Me: "Roger that." ... as I pulled a victorious aileron roll! -- Greg Cole More

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A NASA T-38 flown by an astronaut was taxiing to the FBO when he turned into a private hangar's parking area. Ground control rerouted him to the FBO, and the pilot thanked him and said: "It is so hard to find your way down here on Earth." -- Gib Satterwhite More

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When I was a controller in south Texas, a Piper Tripacer called me in the tower asking to transition through the airspace. ... Me: "Piper 123, squawk 4352." ... Tripacer: "What's that, tower?" ... Me: "Piper 123, squawk 4352." ... Tripacer: "Tower, I don't understand you." ... Me: "Piper 123, your transponder code: 4352. Do you have a transponder on board?" ... Tripacer: "No, just me and the wife." ... Me: "Piper 123, transition approved." -- Grant Shinn More

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No doubt about it, Red Sox fans, Boston loves baseball! And here's a NOTAM to prove it: ... !FDC 5/2196 BOS STAR GENERAL EDWARD LAWRENCE LOGAN INTL, BOSTON, MA / QUABN THREE ARRIVAL... / ALL TRANSITIONS, ATC MAY ASSIGN HOLDING AT ONDEC (ON-DECK) AS DEPICTED ON CHART. EXPECT DIRECT UROWT (YOUR-OUT) AND TO RESUME THE QUABN STAR WHEN CLEARED FROM HOLD -- Don Desfosse More

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Here's a funny exchange I heard on the radio. ... Cessna Pilot (sounding like a nervous newbie): "Charlotte Approach, Cessna 12345 at 5,000. Would like to descend to 7,000." ... Charlotte Approach:"Cessna 12345, I think you mean you'd like to climb to 7,000." ... Cessna Pilot: "Uh, sorry. I'm still a new instrument pilot." ... Charlotte Approach (chuckling): "Cessna 12345, climb and maintain 7,000." ... Other Pilot on Frequency: "Approach, maybe he was upside-down." ... Laughter on the frequency. -- Rob More