August 20, 2012
Heard on KBIS tower frequency years ago:
Tower:
"NorthWest XYZ, cleared to land, 31. Be advised of model rocketry testing from the United Tribes Educational Center just west of the airport."
Northwest XYZ (with a Texas drawl) :
"Ah liked it bettah when they only used bows and arrows."
Rob Scarlett
via e-mail More
August 13, 2012
Overheard on the radio a few years ago:
N1234:
"Kalamazoo approach, student pilot N1234 five miles west."
Approach:
"Are you the red and blue Cessna 172?"
N1234:
"Yes. How did you knnow?"
Approach:
"I have color radar. N1234, go to tower 123.45."
Me:
"Kalamazoo approach, white Bonanza with black and red stripes checking in."
Approach (laughing) :
"I used to fly that 172!"
Robert Brown
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August 6, 2012
Departing north from Moorabbin (YMMB) on a warm summer's day, in a very tired rental Arrow, I was cleared to climb in class C over the busy approach to Melbourne.
Centre:
"ABC, cleared to Eildon Weir; climb 7,500."
[shortly thereafter ...]
Centre:
"ABC, maintain best rate of climb."
Me:
"Best rate? I'm pedaling as fast as I can."
Andrew Fry
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July 30, 2012
Several years ago, as the volume of traffic was increasing at BNA, an American Eagle flight received and acknowledged an incorrect altimeter setting. After mentioning it to ground control, he added:
"Well, up-periscope and taxi to the ramp!"
Rich Mays
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July 16, 2012
This didn't happen on the radio but was a texting classic. The weather was tough, and we needed just a bit of Jet A. And we always take prist. Apparently, autocorrect saw the gravity of the situation. As I texted the other pilot, it came out as:
"We need 200 gals. Jet A with priest."
Curt Brown
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July 9, 2012
Frederick Municipal Airport (FDK elevation: 303 feet) with a long-standing glider club on the field recently began tower operations. After the tower had been operating for about a week, on a relatively busy Saturday afternoon, I heard this exchange:
Glider:
"Frederick Tower, Glider XXX at 1,600 feet inbound for a right downwind for landing runway 12 with information Sierra ... ."
Tower:
"Glider XXX, Frederick Tower. Hold your altitude. I have a few ahead of you."
Glider:
"Frederick Tower, I'm a glider."
Tower:
"Glider XXX, cleared to land, runway 12."
Lance Nuckolls
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July 2, 2012
Flying my 172 near McGuire Air Force Base on Sunday, VFR with flight following from McGuire Approach. Two Air Force DC-10 tankers were practicing approaches as I flew by, and I offered to climb to stay out of their way. The controller asked me to climb and maintain 2,500 feet.
Approach:
"TAC 1, turn left, heading 330. Intercept the ILS 24, maintain 2,000' until established. Traffic is a 172 above you at 2,500'. Caution: wake turbulence."
(Silence on the frequency. Did I hear right?)
TAC 1:
"Ahhh, Approach -- say again the traffic?"
Approach (a new voice) :
"TAC 1, disregard wake turbulence warning. Cleared for the approach."
Me in my 172:
"McGuire, 4RP. Why did you cancel the other guy's wake turbulence warning? You just made my day!"
Approach:
"Sorry about that, but I had to. I'm the only one here who can talk right now we're all laughing so hard!"
Rabbi Don Weber
Morganville, NJ More
June 25, 2012
On a Young Eagles flight recently, the 8-year-old girl sitting in the right seat asked me what why I had a switch for "rotting bacon." Confused, I asked her to point to it. Then I said, "Oh, that's for the rotating beacon!"
I'm going to use that term from now on.
Rich Oleszczuk
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June 18, 2012
About ten airplanes from a local air park descended on the usually quiet Grand Prarie Muni (Texas) for Sunday breakfast. Afterward, we heard this exchange:
Controller (somewhat exasperated) :
"Did you guys all take off together?"
Unidentified Pilot:
"No. We actually took off one at a time ... ."
Steve Wilson
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June 11, 2012
Listening to the radio in our hangar, we heard the following exchange. After landing at KSTS, a pilot requested to taxi to his hangar. He was given specific instructions and was cleared to his hangar. About 30 seconds later, we heard:
Mooney 432XX:
"Santa Rosa Ground, this is Mooney 432XX with a request."
Ground:
"Mooney 432XX, say request."
Mooney 432XX:
"I'd like to change my taxi destination to the shade hangars. I see someone over there who owes me money."
Ground:
"Change in destination approved. Good luck."
Ten seconds later, we heard:
Mooney 432XX:
"Santa Rosa Ground, this is Mooney 432XX with a second request."
Ground:
"Mooney 432XX, say request."
Mooney 432XX:
"If a Citabria requests permission to taxi, please deny request."
Ground:
"You're a Mooney; you should be able to outrun him."
Scott Peterson
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