October 15, 2012
This was my experience, airborne near Hollister (CA) inbound to Salinas (CA) airport, SNS:
Me:
"Oakland Flight Watch, Aircoupe 1234, ten east of Hollister. Please give me current Salinas weather."
OAK:
"Aircoupe 1234, Oakland Flight Watch. What's the identifier?"
Me:
"Salinas identifier is SNS."
OAK:
"I know what the identifier for Salinas is. I need the identifier for your location near Hollister."
Me:
"I don't know the identifier for Hollister. Just please give me the weather at Salinas."
OAK:
"The computer won't let me give you the Salinas weather unless I tell it where you are with an identifier."
Me:
"Disregard my request. I'll call on my cell phone. It doesn't care where I'm at!"
Bill
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October 8, 2012
We had lost our autopilot and advised the local ATC controller in the Kyrgyz Republic that we were not RVSM-compliant. This prompted the following exchange:
Aircraft 1234 (us) :
"Aircraft 1234, Osh control. State nature of the problem?"
Osh Control:
"Osh Control, Aircraft 1234. We have lost our autopilot."
[long pause]
Osh Control:
"Aircraft 1234, which pilot doesn't work?"
Karl Vogelheim
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October 1, 2012
This happened just three days ago, during instrument training, while copying and reading back a clearance for only the second time ever.
Clearance Delivery (after I'd read back my clearance correctly) :
"Readback correct. What runway, and how long?"
Me:
"Runway 03, and it's 4,200 feet long."
I can only imagine what the controller said at that time. My instructor keyed in immediately to clear things up.
Brian Smith
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September 24, 2012
Back in the 1970s, while flying an MU-2 into El Paso, Texas, I heard the following exchange between approach and an airline crew after repeated attempts to get the crew to reduce speed:
Approach:
"Flight 123, I must have you at 120 knots right now."
Captain of Flight 123:
"Son, do you have any idea of the stalling speed of this thing?"
Approach:
"No sir, but I bet if you ask your co-pilot he can tell you."
Larry Bartlett
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September 17, 2012
When an air traffic controller asked an aircraft to reduce speed even more than he already had:
Aircraft 1234:
"If I reduce any further, I'll fall out of the sky!"
Controller:
"Roger. Report leaving altitudes on descent."
Ed LeSage
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September 10, 2012
One day I took a friend's son up for a flight in my Cessna 150. As we flew around the area, I explained, "One of the things we have to do is look out for other airplanes."
As I was scanning the skies, I found a plane off in the distance and pointed it out to the young boy. "Do you see the plane over there?" I asked.
"Yes," he replied. "Is it one of ours?"
Ron Hogle
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September 3, 2012
In view of all the recent hurricane news coverage, I recalled a pertinent exchange from the the Port Columbus, Ohio (CMH) tower. I worked at the "Lane Gate" vehicle check point for several years, regularly monitoring the tower frequency to get a "play by play" description of what was going on around me. I overheard the following exchange the day after the remnants of hurricane Ike came through, causing a lot of downed trees and subsequent power outages. A recently landed ERJ was taxiing to the ramp and called the tower:
ERJ:
"CMH Tower, American Eagle 1234. I hear you guys got a lot of wind yesterday. How much did you get?"
Tower:
"American Eagle 1234, Tower. The highest gust I saw was 68mph, and then the wind thingee blew away."
(78mph gusts were reported by the news media.)
Edwin Esson
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August 27, 2012
Royal Flying Doctor Service was flying a B200 IFR out of Broken Hill, Australia and had a young student doctor in the right seat, who was unfamiliar with flying and for whom English was a second language. As the flight progressed, the pilot noticed the student becoming more and more uncomfortable and, after a normal landing, noted an undue amount of relief on the student's face.
Pilot:
"Why are you so relieved?" Student Doctor:
"Because we survived the emergency."
Pilot:
"Err, what emergency?"
Student Doctor:
"You know. I heard you on the radio talking about 'my big dilemma.'"
(She had misheard the call sign "Mike Victor Lima" ... .
Duane Stace
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August 20, 2012
Heard on KBIS tower frequency years ago:
Tower:
"NorthWest XYZ, cleared to land, 31. Be advised of model rocketry testing from the United Tribes Educational Center just west of the airport."
Northwest XYZ (with a Texas drawl) :
"Ah liked it bettah when they only used bows and arrows."
Rob Scarlett
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August 13, 2012
Overheard on the radio a few years ago:
N1234:
"Kalamazoo approach, student pilot N1234 five miles west."
Approach:
"Are you the red and blue Cessna 172?"
N1234:
"Yes. How did you knnow?"
Approach:
"I have color radar. N1234, go to tower 123.45."
Me:
"Kalamazoo approach, white Bonanza with black and red stripes checking in."
Approach (laughing) :
"I used to fly that 172!"
Robert Brown
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