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The company that I was with had a chief pilot who liked to play with ATC (in the '60s): Bonanza 123: "Bonanza 123. Give me the word. I want to make like a bird." Detroit Tower: "You got the nod. Leave the sod!" Bud Walker via e-mail More

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Back in the '70s, a Southern gentleman friend was an airline pilot who owned a C-182 that he called "Juan" as in "Juan Eighty-Two." His N-number ended in 4Q , and if he either wanted a laugh or didn't like an ATC instruction, he acknowledged with, "Roger. Four Q." Pronounced in that Southern-gentlemanly style that sounded more like, "Roger. Fork you." Bless his heart, he always gave me a $20 bill any time he came in the shop. And now you know why we now need a full N-number readback! Tom Ciura via e-mail More

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In the early '70s in Orlando, an Aztec, N910JQ, would always ask for a straight in to Herndon. So we could say: "Nine ten Jack Queen has a possible straight." Jim Woolf via e-mail More

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While flying a Beech 18 in the late 1960s, my instructor requested take-off clearance in an unusual way: XXX Tower: "Twin Beech N1234 ready to accelerate on runway heading to generate sufficient lift to overcome the effects of gravity." Without skipping a beat, the tower retorted: "Twin Beech N1234, you are cleared to accelerate on runway heading to generate sufficient lift to overcome the effects of gravity." Patrick Tallon via e-mail More

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I heard the following a few days ago over eastern Kentucky: Flagship 123: "Indy Center, Flagship 123 climbing through 12,000." Indy Center: "Flagship 123, roger. What was your assigned heading?" Flagship 123: "370." Indy Center: "370?!" Flagship 123: "370." Indy Center: "O.K. Continue present heading." Dennis Mahan via e-mail More

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This gave me a little chuckle because it rhymed so well. The pilot knew too, as he said it with pauses: Line up and wait... Runway 28... Cirrus 188 Shawn Byers via e-mail More

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I was flying just northeast of Dallas on Monday, April 22. This was the first day of sequester-induced cutbacks of controllers. Fort Worth Center: "King Air 12345, cleared direct FINGR for the FINGR3 arrival." King Air 12345: "Cleared direct FINGR." Fort Worth Center: "They told us not to give any shortcuts today, but I don't see any way to do it except to give you the finger." I was laughing too hard to hear the King Air's reply. Steve Beckerdite via e-mail More

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I had a buyer from Argentina for my unfinished home built aircraft. For tax purposes, the Argentine government required the aircraft not be registered by the FAA. I sent a letter to the FAA requesting a letter stating that the aircraft had not been registered. The FAA's reply: "Your request for the FAA to notify Argentina cannot be accomplished as the aircraft has never been registered." via e-mail More

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Maybe this is only funny to those of us who live here, but here it is anyway. The other day, I was buzzing around over the east side of Wichita when I heard this: Wichita Approach: "Bizjet 123, maintain 3,500. Departing traffic from Jabara and Beech Field." Bizjet 123: "3,500 for 123. You guys sure have a lot of airports around here!" Wichita Approach: "Well, Wichita is known as the Air Capitol." Bizjet 123: "Really? I didn't realize that!" My Co-Pilot: facepalm John "Dizzy" Phunt via e-mail More

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FABC: "Tower, be advised there were several large birds on approach to runway 32." YKF Tower (spotting birds through binoculars) : "Roger. XYZ, look out for multiple birds of prey on approach." FXYZ: "Klingons in sight, XYZ." Michael Schuster via e-mail More