June 4, 2012
En route over central Florida, we heard the following exchange between Jacksonville Center or Approach (can't remember which) and a Cessna approaching its destination:
Jax Center:
"1234AB, do you have information 'Hotel'?"
1234AB:
"Uh, nah, sir, we don't need it. Thanks, but we're stayin' with some friends down in New Smyrna."
Jax Center:
"1234AB, negative. Advise if you have ATIS information 'Hotel,' please."
1234AB (after a pause) :
"Uh, Jax Center, like I say, we don't need any hotel information. We've already got a place to stay down in New Smyrna."
Jax Center:
"4AB, I'm not giving you hotel information. I need you to advise that you have ATIS information 'Hotel' at [landing airport]."
[Several moments of silence.]
Jax Center:
"Cessna 1234AB, Jacksonville Center."
1234AB:
"4AB. Go ahead."
Jax Center:
"Did you copy the request for ATIS information 'Hotel'?"
1234AB:
"No, sir, I did not -- 'cause I don't need it. Like I already told you, we got a place to stay already down in New Smyrna!"
Jax Center:
"1234AB, go to 123.45, listen to the recording you will hear, and return to this frequency to advise you've heard what is on that frequency."
1234AB:
"4AB: 123.45 -- roger. So long, sir."
A frequeny change of our own prevented us from learning if 4AB ever did receive Hotel, but we trust their stay in New Smyrna was a pleasant one.
A. Tipps
via e-mail More
May 28, 2012
Flying a Piper Lance from Santa Fe to Scottsdale in severely turbulent winds, someone on the radio asked ATC a question.
Unidentified Pilot:
"Is there anyone flying out there in this stuff?"
ATC:
"Yes. One other aircraft."
Unidentified Pilot:
"At what altitude?"
ATC:
"Well, he's assigned 10,500, but he's anywhere between 9,500 and 11,500."
Leonard Hendleman
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May 21, 2012
Overheard flying into Chicago (ORD):
ORD Approach:
"British Airways, can you be down to 4,000 feet by XXXXX?"
[pause]
British Airways 12345:
"I suppose so -- but I don't think I can bring the aircraft with me."
John Finley
via e-mail More
May 14, 2012
Flying an Army OH58 in the early '80s, we determined that we would not have the fuel to make our planned destination. Passing Kessler Air Force Base, we called the tower for landing instructions.
Kessler Tower:
"Do you have PPR?" [PPR = "prior permission"]
OH58 (not knowing what "PPR" stood for) :
"No. [pause] All we have is a transponder and an ADF."
Kessler Tower:
"Clear to land."
Mike Friel
via e-mail More
May 7, 2012
I heard this while returning from Texas:
Piper Pilot (with a thick southern drawl) :
"Sahv, Centah, Ah believe Ah'm a-fixin' to cancel mah IFR flaght plannn."
Center:
"Are you just 'fixin' to,' or are you going to cancel it?"
Piper Pilot:
"Ah believe Ah'm a-goin' to cancel it about now."
Center:
"Roger. Squawk VFR."
Ron Cizek
Omaha, Nebraska More
April 30, 2012
Overheard flying into Chicago (ORD):
ORD Approach:
"British Airways, can you be down to 4,000 feet by XXXXX?"
British Airways 1234:
"I suppose so, but I don't think I can bring the aircraft with me."
John Finley
via e-mail More
April 23, 2012
During the late 1970s, a Royal Air Force "Belfast" strategic freighter approached on final to Chicago O'Hare. (What's a Belfast? Read on!) Callsign: "Ascot 1234."
Ascot 1234:
"Chicago tower, Ascot 1234."
Chicago:
"Ascot, say your aircraft type."
Ascot 1234:
"Ascot 1234 is a Belfast."
Chicago:
"Uhhh, what in heck's a Belfast, Ascot?"
Ascot 1234:
"It's a big 4-turboprop freighter — bit like a pretty C-132."
Chicago:
"O.K., Ascot, you're cleared to continue behind the landing 737. Do you have that visual?"
Ascot 1234:
"Ascot 1234, affirmative to continue."
United 123:
"Chicago Tower, this is United 123."
Chicago:
"United 123 Chicago, you're cleared to continue behind the landing Belfast."
United 123:
"The landing what ?"
Chicago:
"United 123, don't you know a Belfast when you see one?"
Chicago (and United) could be forgiven for not knowing what in heck a Belfast was: Only 10 were ever built. But we (53 Squadron, Royal Air Force) flew them all round the world, and we loved 'em ... .
Sean Maffett
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April 16, 2012
ATC questioned a confused student pilot:
Tower:
"What are your intentions?"
Student Pilot:
"After this cross-country flight, take my check ride and get my private license."
Ray Dash
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April 9, 2012
And now for a slight departure from our usual "Short Final" hijinks:
Many years ago, I heard a radio exchange that, for me, illustrated the great resources and the responsibilities we have as pilots. Climbing into the VFR corridor of the New York TCA, I heard this on the frequency:
American 123:
"Boston Center, American 123."
Boston Center:
"American 123, Boston."
American 123:
"Company has informed us they have a report of a possible bomb on board."
Boston Center:
"Roger, American 123. What are your intentions?"
American 123:
"We'd like to return to Boston."
Boston Center:
"Roger, cleared to Boston."
And that was it! No routing, no questions, no altitudes. Later, they were given the winds and asked which runway they would prefer. I can only assume there was a great deal of activity on other frequencies to clear the sky for the jet.
My point is we don't often dwell on the responsibilities of command when we take off with our families and friends — or of the great resources of the ATC which are available if we need them. All it takes is a few words, and, for some period of time, the world will revolve entirely around us. Being ready and able to play our part if the time comes is as important as any other flying skill, and for many of us, why we feel so good to call ourselves pilots.
Roger Rowell
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April 2, 2012
While I was waiting for departure clearance, a student pilot was departing on a parallel runway and was cleared to cross my intended departure flight path. Concerned of a possible collision, he was maintaining healthy climb.
Tower:
"Skycatcher 12345: While your climb performance is impressive, I would remind you that Class B Airspace starts at 3,000 feet."
[A long silence followed.]
Skycatcher 12345:
"Skycatcher 12345 leveling out at 2,500 feet."
Michael Landgraf
via e-mail More
