Short Final

Short Final »

A few years ago, during the Annual Air Spectacular at a usually very quiet Baldonnel Military Air Field: ATC (to US military A10 Warthog on finals for a fly-by and demo) : "Caution. Cyclist crossing the active runway." A10 (hopefully jokingly) : "Do you want me to take him out?" Paddy Kilduff via e-mail More

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Some Army helicopters are big and loud. Tower: "Army helicopter, cleared to land — runway 25." Army: "Cleared to land, 25." [after landing] Army: "Tower, be advised that there is a large flock of birds near the departure end of the runway." Tower: "Roger. And you didn't scare them away?" Ted Timmons via e-mail More

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Conversation that took place while a student pilot was in the traffic pattern at KSAV: Control Tower: "Cessna 12345, how much time do you have?" Cessna 12345: "I have the plane until 5:30." Control Tower: "I meant, 'How many hours do you have?'" 12345: "About twenty." Michael Calarruda via e-mail More

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Overheard while listening to an area radar center in England during the early '80s. Two United States Air Force Europe fast jets climbing out of a low flying area were trying to locate each other to join formation. "Ratch 13": "Ratch 12, where are you?" "Ratch 12": "Ratch 13, one mile south of Chester." "Ratch 13": "Ratch 12, say again." "Ratch 12": "Chester! Chester!" An undentified voice, in a strong Western Drawl: "I'm a-comin', Marshall Dillon!" Readers of a certain age will remember "Gunsmoke"! Gary Brindle via e-mail More

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Long time ago! Army Caribou: "Raleigh Durham Tower, Army 73080 in position, runway 23, ready for take-off. Wait a minute, Tower — there is a turtle crossing the runway!" Tower: "Army 080, hold for crossing turtle; advise when clear." Army 080 (several minutes later) : "Raleigh Tower, turtle has cleared runway!" Tower: "Army 080, winds 240 at 6; cleared for take-off, runway 23. Use caution. Wake turbulence from departing terrapin." Scott McMillan via e-mail More

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Years ago, I had an interesting ATC encounter in Washington airspace that I think would be humorous to your readers of "Short Final." While flying my RV-4 in the narrow VFR slot between the old Washington ADIZ and the expanded Camp David TFR, I lost my GPS. Without a VOR, I contacted Wash. Center. The call went as follows: N1234 (me): "Washington Center, N1234." Center: "N1234, go ahead." N1234: "I've lost all nav aids over Frederick, and I'm concerned that I will violate airspace and cause a little excitement. Please give me vectors to keep me out of trouble." Center: "No worries. Everyone is targeting you." Bruce MacInnes via e-mail More

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Heard this at John Wayne Airport recently. The airliners often like to take off from runway 1L if the wind is within their take-off limits to save fuel. United 123: "John Wayne ground, say winds please." John Wayne Ground: "Winds are variable between 110 and 120 at 6 knots." John Wayne Ground (after a pause) : "Actually, I guess they aren't that variable, are they?" Mike Banner via e-mail More

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Whitted Ground: "N12345, clear of the active, taxi to the Hangar Restaurant." N12345: "345 cleared to the restaurant via 'Bravo.'" Whitted Ground: "They're featuring five dollar hamburgers today." N12345: "Five dollars? I thought it was a hundred-dollar hamburger!" Whitted Ground: "For you, it's a hundred dollars. For me, it's five dollars." Michael J. McCarthy via e-mail More

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About 40 years ago, when I was learning to fly at Christchurch International in New Zealand, I was holding for take-off on the grass when I heard this exchange from the tower with a visiting farmer who was heading back to the farm. Tower: "You're cleared for take-off — runway 29." Farmer: "Cleared for take-off; 29. Tower (a little while later) : "Bravo Chalie Alpha, nice take-off." Farmer: "Uh, thank you, tower." Tower: "Just one small thing: Next time, can you use the runway instead of the taxiway?" Barrie Smith via e-mail More

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I heard this on a recent trip into New York's JFK Airport: Air Carrier: "Kennedy tower, how do you read?" Kennedy Tower: "Usually from left to right." Keith F. Lauder via e-mail More