January 24, 1996 Actual Transmissions by O'Hare TRACON

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by	The Editors of THE NATCA VOICE

About NATCA Voice ... The NATCA Voice is the published bi-monthly newsletter of the National Air Traffic Controllers Association (NATCA). It is distributed to approximately 430 FAA air traffic control facilities in the United States and edited by Bryan Thompson, a controller at Chicago TRACON. Its contents represents the opinions of the authors and editor, not official NATCA policy. Individual subscriptions to The NATCA Voice are available for $15.00 per year ($21.00 for first-class mail) from: The NATCA Voice 112 Juliann Dr #5 Wood Dale, IL  60191 Advertising rates are available on request. Check out NATCA's web site at http://www.natca.org. Don't Miss This ... For more laughs, check out the article "More Actual Transmissions by O'Hare TRACON"!

• "Expect lower at the end of this transmission."

• "Citation 123, if you quit calling me Center, I'll quit calling you twin Cessna."

• "About three miles ahead, you've got traffic 12 o'clock, five miles."

• "If you hear me, traffic no longer a factor."

• "You got him on TCAS? Great. When you're seven in trail, resume normal speed and call Chicago Center on 120.12."

• "I am way too busy for anybody to cancel on me."

• "You got any more smart remarks, we can be doing this over South Bend...go ahead."

• "You're gonna have to key the mic. I can't see you when you nod your head."

• "It's too late for Louisville. We're going back to O'Hare."

• "Put your compass on 'E' and get out of my airspace."

• "Don't anybody maintain anything."

• "Caution wake turbulence, you're following a heavy 12 o'clock, three...no, lets make it five miles."

• "Climb like your life depends on it...because it does."

• "If you want more room, captain, push your seat back."

• "For radar identification, throw your jumpseat rider out the window."

• "Air Force One, I told you to expedite!"

• "Listen up, gentlemen, or something's gonna happen that none of us wants to see.

• "Leave five on the glide, have a nice ride, tower inside, twenty-six nine...see ya."

• "Japan Air Ten Heavy, how about a radio check?" (Response: "Royah, switching!")