Actual Transmissions by O'Hare TRACON

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A little ATC humor from The NATCA Voice, the newsletter of the National Air Traffic Controllers Association.

  • "Expect lower at the end of this transmission."

  • "Citation 123, if you quit calling me Center, I'll quit calling you twin Cessna."

  • "About three miles ahead, you've got traffic 12 o'clock, five miles."

  • "If you hear me, traffic no longer a factor."

  • "You got him on TCAS? Great. When you're seven in trail, resume normal speed and call Chicago Center on 120.12."

  • "I am way too busy for anybody to cancel on me."

  • "You got any more smart remarks, we can be doing this over South Bend...go ahead."

  • "You're gonna have to key the mic. I can't see you when you nod your head."

  • "It's too late for Louisville. We're going back to O'Hare."

  • "Put your compass on 'E' and get out of my airspace."

  • "Don't anybody maintain anything."

  • "Caution wake turbulence, you're following a heavy 12 o'clock, three...no, lets make it five miles."

  • "Climb like your life depends on it...because it does."

  • "If you want more room, captain, push your seat back."

  • "For radar identification, throw your jumpseat rider out the window."

  • "Air Force One, I told you to expedite!"

  • "Listen up, gentlemen, or something's gonna happen that none of us wants to see.

  • "Leave five on the glide, have a nice ride, tower inside, twenty-six nine...see ya."

  • "Japan Air Ten Heavy, how about a radio check?" (Response: "Royah, switching!")