Smelly, Topless Woman Disrupts Flight

A Virgin Blue crew (insert joke here) elected to continue a Jan. 14 flight from Hobart to Melbourne, Australia, despite an apparently deranged passenger’s rantings that the flight would end in a 9/11-style tragedy. What followed wasn’t fatal but it was almost certainly painful for those aboard. After initially being calmed by the cabin crew, the 23-year-old woman ended up taking her shirt and bra off, defecating in her pants and subjecting her fellow passengers to a 50-minute tirade. Although passengers told the Australian media they were “freaked out” by the incident, the airline apparently didn’t think much of it. After landing (to the applause of the passengers) the pilot thanked the passengers for their patience and described the incident as “an environmental anomaly.” Airline spokeswoman Amanda Bolger said the flight was never in any danger. “We believe that despite this person’s unusual behavior, it did not affect the safety of passengers or the aircraft,” said Bolger in a statement. The unidentified woman was released to her parents, which seems like a fitting conclusion.