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I had the following exchange with a tower controller immediately after takeoff … Me: Tower, I'd like to report a bird strike during takeoff.  I don't believe there's any damage to the aircraft, but you'll need to have someone check for any bird parts on the runway … Tower: Was it a small bird?… Me:  It is now … Bernie Hirsch More

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My friend Chuck, a recent solo student, got the following request from the tower on landing … Tower:”Expedite clearing the runway.” … Chuck brought the C-150 to a halt on the runway …Chuck: ”What does expedite mean?” … Jeff B. Land More

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On final approach to Runway 23 in a D-18 Beech at Mansfield Lama Airport, Ohio, we received this inquiry from the control tower … Tower:  Beech XXXXX please confirm nose wheel extension? … Beech 18: After looking at each other in surprise and much laughing, we responded: Mansfield Tower, N8504, we don't have one! … Sue Packer More

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As I approached Sarasota Airport on the downwind there was a Cessna 172 ahead of me who asked the tower clearance for landing … Tower: State your intentions.” … The pilot said that he planned to have dinner with his brother-in-law that evening … Tower:"Roger, cleared to land." More

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A few years ago I was returning to KHLN after an evening flight. It was a beautiful night and well into dusk and not another voice on the radio when I made my call into HLN … N3969B:  HLN tower cub 3969B, eight miles Northeast, inbound landing Victor … HLN tower:  cub 69B, not in sight, report three-mile right base runway 27 … N3969B:  OK, 69B, we'll call you three-mile right base 27,   but I bet I'm about the only light on out here on this quiet night … HLN tower:  Ah, don't be so sure. I cleared Venus to land just the other night … The Hln tower controller was Dave Mason who recently retired and now has a FAA waypoint named for him. More

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It was Saturday afternoon some years ago at our mid-sized, midwestern airport.Things were hopping. Air Guard jets were shooting landings on the long runway, airliners were arriving and departing, two or three aircraft were in the pattern practicing, transients were coming and going, and then there was my friend and me in a 1945 65-HP J-3 Cub doing touch and goes.   After four landings, blissfully unaware of the consternation our extremely slow speed was causing, we asked the tower on our handheld radio: …”Cub 843 would like a right turn out of the pattern.” … Controller (exasperated): “Right turn, left turn or straight out approved. I don't care.  Just please, please get out of my way!" More

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The fall at Juneau Airport, where I’m a controller, generally sees pretty gross days, rain and lots of wind.  One day we had six miles of visibility and winds of more than 25 knots and gusts more than 30.  I was working a Coast Guard helicopter out and it occurred to me that I never really see those guys when the weather was nice.  I figured I'd ask … Tower: CG 6043 frequency change approved, you guys have time for a question? … CG pilot: Frequency change approved and go ahead … Tower:  You guys ever fly in nice weather? … CG pilot: No More

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On Tower frequency at a rural class Delta … Cessna: Uh, Tower caution some sort of otter or marmot just went right in front of my plane … Tower: It was a groundhog. That is our airport groundhog … Cessna: Ok regardless of type he just crossed Alpha without clearance. Tell him to check his frequency … Tower: We'll have a talk with him.  Cleared for takeoff 23 … George Mendenhall More

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I heard the aircraft part of this conversation to Grand Forks FSS at 21:05 local time recently. I was too far away to hear the controller but they wanted to know the time off for the aircraft ... Cessna 1234: “I was airborne at 9:05 ... Pause, Err, ahh, make that 26:05" ... No further calls were made ... Harv Penner More

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I was in the lineup to depart LAX. A Delta jet was ahead of me and a Short Bros 360 was ahead of Delta … Delta (strong southern accent): "Ah, ground control, could you tell us what kind of aircraft is that ahead of us?” … Short Bros Pilot: "Ah, we are a Short Bros 360.” … Long silence … Delta: Ahhh OK, did ya all built that yourself? … Thomas J. Mackie More