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About 25 years ago I was hauling cargo in a beat-up C210 at dusk near PFN, FL, and overheard the following … ATC:  "Comair 1234, Nat'l Wx Service just advised us they have recently released a balloon in your area and they say it should be approx your altitude, and it's pretty large.” … Pause of a few seconds … Comair:  "How large?!” … Pause of several more seconds … ATC: "He says about the size of a house.” … Pause of a few seconds … Comair:  "Would that be my house or your house?" More

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Some years ago I was flying into a very congested London Heathrow Airport when I heard the following exchange withHeathrow Approach ... Heathrow: ”Speedbird 123, what is your position in the hold at Lambourne?" ... Speedbird:  "We are just turning outbound at flight level 200." ... Heathrow:  "Roger, Speedbird, could you possibly cross Lambourne inbound at 3000 feet?" ... Speedbird:  "Roger, I could probably make that, but I doubt if I could take my aircraft with me." ... John Marshall More

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I heard this on my scanner and almost fell out of my chair ... Jet Blue: ”Jet Blue 123 climbing to eight thousand" ... No response ... Jet Blue: ”Jet Blue 123 how do you hear? ... Bradley Approach: ”With my ears: turn left direct Norwich VOR" .... Stephen Fogarty More

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On a routine day of bad weather flying we overheard center calling ... ATC: "Cargo 244 Heavy descend to one seven thousand and hurry through flight level one nine zero." ... Heavy: " Roger, descend to one seven thousand and what rate would you like?" ... ATC:"HURRY" ... Heavy: "Were hurrying!, Cargo 244!" More

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During a VFR approach in a busy airport in devoutly Catholic Colombia, a student pilot was given landing clearance. It seemed she didn't understand the controller ... Student: "Could you please confirm?” ... Tower: ”Sure: I confirm you in the name of the Father, in the name of the Son..." ... Of course the controller gave her the right instructions afterwards! Of course the controller gave her the right instructions afterwards! Juan Velasquez More

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Regional Approach: Citation 123, please give a cloud description on your descent ...Citation 123: They're white ... Regional Approach: ... Citation 123: Just kidding. Tops were jagged 5,000 down to 4,500 ... Regional Approach: I literally had nothing to say to that. More

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Not many controllers away from the northern border of the U.S. are familiar with Canada’s alphabetic aircraft registration system and it can cause confusion ... C-ABCD: XXXX tower this Canadian Civil  Charlie Alpha Bravo Charlie Delta. Request runway in use ... No response ... C-ABCD: Again XXXX tower Canadian Civil Charlie Alpha Bravo Charlie Delta requesting runway in use ... No response ... C-ABCD: Wichita tower, Canadian Civil Charlie Alpha Bravo Charlie Delta requesting runway in use ... XXXX Tower: Canadian alphabet soup aircraft calling XXXX Tower please say again. More

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On Presidents' Day weekend, POTUS had West Palm Beach shut down with his TFR. Boca was swamped with corporate and private traffic trying to avoid the TFR restrictions. We were sitting in a long line waiting for departure, with numerous jets lined up for arrival, when a weekend warrior called up tower inbound asking for touch and goes. The tower controller told him to remain clear for now, but the pilot continued to call with his own ideas on how he could fit in. After a couple more denials, the controller finally issued instructions ... Tower ... "Look out your window, pick a landmark, and do 360s around it until I call you back " ... Weekend Warrior: " Left or Right?" ... My captain, looking at me: "Some people just don't get it do they?". Gene Ford More

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While flying from the northeast to south Florida last week it was bumpy at all altitudes and everyone was trying to find a better ride. I overheard this conversation with ATC ... United XYZ: Jax Center, were getting a rough ride here at 360. Do you have anything smoother? ... Jax Center: Yes, I-95 ... United XYZ (after much laughter): "Can we have that?" ... Jax Center: Sure, let me know when you see asphalt ... Frank McKee More

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On a recent trip to visit my inlaws, I was passing by an airport on my way when I heard this exchange ... Cessna1234: Tower, Cessna 1234 is ready for takeoff ... Tower: Cessna 1234 you are cleared for takeoff Runway 24. Say direction of flight ... Cessna 1234: Cleared for takeoff Runway 24, Direction of Flight ... Tower: Which way are you heading? ... Cessna 1234: Oh! Heading southeast ... Karl Vogelheim More