Short Final

Short Final

Overheard in IFR Magazine's 'On the Air' Section
Overheard in IFR Magazine's "On the Air"

Flying home to Portland Troutdale (KTTD) from Medford, Ore. (KMFR) Friday night, I heard the following:

Portland Approach: November One Two Charlie, traffic ten oclock, southbound at 9,000, a Navajo.

12C: Were looking.

Approach: Correction, its a Malibu.

12C: Still looking.

Approach: Sorry, its really a Navajo. Oh well, what the heck, its dark.

Short Final

Overheard in IFR Magazine's 'On the Air' Section
Overheard in IFR Magazine's "On the Air"

On a recent trip from Illinois to Arkansas, we overheard the following exchange:

Razorback Approach: Cessna Two Three Tango, Razorback Approach. Have you changed your destination from Houston, Texas?

Cessna 23T: Razorback Approach, Cessna Two Three Tango. Thats a negative. Destination is still Houston.

Approach: Well Cessna Two Three Tango, on your current heading you are not going to even hit the state of Texas.

Cessna 23T: Approach, Cessna Two Three Tango … we are experiencing … nav problems.

Approach: Cessna Two Three Tango, we assumed that, too … turn right heading 179 direct Houston.

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Overheard in IFR Magazine's 'On the Air' Section
Overheard in IFR Magazine's "On the Air"

Overhead during a rather quiet evening on Minneapolis Center.

Unknown aircraft: Minneapolis Center. Still there?

Minneapolis Center: Engineering to Bridge. Aye, Captain. Tricorder readings indicate carbon-based units still infest the planet.

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Overheard in IFR Magazine's 'On the Air' Section
Overheard in IFR Magazine's "On the Air"

Heard on ground frequency at Oakland-Pontiac (Mich.) Airport (KPTK):

Oakland Ground: Ground vehicle one, weve had a report of a hawk and a fox fighting at the approach end to 9R. Please investigate.

Ground One [minutes later]: Oakland Ground, this is ground vehicle one. The fight is over. The hawk won.

Oakland Ground: Yes! Once again, a demonstration of the clear superiority of air power.

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Overheard in IFR Magazine's 'On the Air' Section
Overheard in IFR Magazine's "On the Air"

On a bumpy day near New York City, we heard the following exchange:

Diamond 8DS: New York Approach, Diamond Eight Delta Sierra. I'm getting continuous moderate turbulence at 5,000. Request 6,000. It looks like I'll be on top at six.

New York Approach: Diamond Eight Delta Sierra. Unable 6,000. Maintain 5,000.

Diamond 8DS: Maintain 5,000, Eight Delta Sierra.

New York Approach [a few minutes later]: Diamond Eight Delta Sierra, change to my frequency 133.75.

Diamond 8DS: New York Approach, Diamond Eight Delta Sierra. Unable to change frequencies right now. I can't keep my hand on the radio knob in this turbulence.

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Overheard in IFR Magazine's 'On the Air' Section
Overheard in IFR Magazine's "On the Air"

We were leaving Marthas Vineyard when my student nervously contacted Cape Approach:

Cessna 38W: Cape Approach, Cessna Three Eight Whiskey, student pilot departing the Vineyard, requesting advisories to New Bedford.

Cape Approach: Cessna Three Eight Whiskey, Cape Approach. This should be interesting. Im a student controller, squawk 2234, and ident.

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Overheard in IFR Magazine's 'On the Air' Section
Overheard in IFR Magazine's "On the Air"

Heard one day near Chicago:

Chicago Center: Southwest Two Four One Three, traffic at your nine oclock, three miles.

Southwest 2413: What kind of a plane is that?

Center: Beech Seven Two Two, what type plane are you flying?

Beech 722: Bonanza F33A.

Center: Southwest did you copy?

Southwest 2413 [other pilots voice]: I dont know why he wants to know - he cant afford it.

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Overheard in IFR Magazine's 'On the Air' Section
Overheard in IFR Magazine's "On the Air"

Last July, on a 90-degree-plus day, in my Cessna 150 just 30 minutes fuel burn below gross, in IMC and at the already unbelievable altitude of 5,000 feet, Saginaw Approach made this request:

Saginaw Approach: Four Five Uniform, I need you to climb and maintain 7,000.

Cessna 45U: Leaving five climbing seven. But its gonna take me about 20 minutes to do it.

Approach: Four Five Uniform, I know. I dont need you there for another 20 minutes!

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Overheard in IFR Magazine's 'On the Air' Section
Overheard in IFR Magazine's "On the Air"

Overheard at the Shreveport Downtown (KDTN) Airport, from a student pilot still very green on the radio.

N3AB: Uh, Downtown Ground, this is Cessna Three Alpha Bravo, will be taxiing to the north practice area, negative radar.

Downtown Ground [amused]: Cessna Three Alpha Bravo, I guess that would be quite a long taxi, wouldnt it?

N3AB [after a short pause]: Uh, Downtown Ground, Cessna Three Alpha Bravo, uh, say again?

Ground [chuckling]: Cessna Three Alpha Bravo, never mind, taxi to runway one four.

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Overheard in IFR Magazine's 'On the Air' Section
Overheard in IFR Magazine's "On the Air"

Overheard at DFW:

Dallas/Fort Worth Clearance Delivery: Nine Eight Two Sierra Yankee stand by to copy clearance.

N982SY: Nine Eight Two Sierra Yankee ready to copy.

Clearance Delivery: Nine Eight Two Sierra Yankee is cleared direct Rockport, after departure fly runway heading at or below 2,000 expect 10,000 in 10 minutes, contact Dallas Forth Worth Departure 125.2, squawk 2351.

N9800Y: Nine Eight Two Sierra Yankee fly runway -- hey, if you guys dont hold still and be quiet, your mother and I will be flying to the Bahamas without you for spring break next week and youll be in Dallas with the babysitter. Am I clear?

Clearance Delivery: Oh no. Can I please go too, daddy?

N9880Y: Sure, come on. Guess I forgot to turn loose of the transmit button. Sorry.

GNS-series navigators revolutionized air navigation.

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