Short Final

Short Final

Overheard in IFR Magazine's 'On the Air' Section
Overheard in IFR Magazine's "On the Air"

Overheard on Chicago Center at 4 a.m., with a female controller working a frequency with almost no traffic.

Cessna 3AB: Cessna Three Alpha Bravo, radio check.

Chicago Center: Youre loud and clear Three Alpha Bravo.

Cessna 3AB: Not too busy this morning?

Center: Its not even four oclock. Doesnt pick up for another hour.

Cessna 3AB: [two minutes later] Chicago Center, Cessna Three Alpha Bravo, request direct OHare.

Center: Three Alpha Bravo, how about world peace?

Cessna 3AB: Worth a try.

Short Final

Overheard in IFR Magazine's 'On the Air' Section
Overheard in IFR Magazine's "On the Air"

Overheard while flying into Troutdale, Ore. (KTTD) Class D airspace.

N338BV: Three Three Eight Bravo Victor, inbound, 3000 level, three miles, full stop.

Troutdale Tower: Three Three Eight Bravo Victor cleared straight-in Runway 25. Wind 270 at seven.

N338BV: Do you want me on a right- or left-hand pattern?

Tower: Neither, unless you can do it straight in.

Short Final

Overheard in IFR Magazine's 'On the Air' Section
Overheard in IFR Magazine's "On the Air"

Overheard on Little Rock Airport's (KLIT) clearance delivery frequency.

King Air N1234: Little Rock clearance this is King Air N1234 with a request.

Clearance delivery: Go ahead.

King Air N1234: I have been trying to file a flight plan with Lockheed for more than 30 minutes. Could you take the info and file for me?

Clearance delivery: Sure, give me the info.

King Air N1234: [after the info was given] I never thought I would see the day when I would say the federal government was more efficient than the private sector. Thanks!

Short Final

Overheard in IFR Magazine's 'On the Air' Section
Overheard in IFR Magazine's "On the Air"

I was flying a Cirrus SR22, introducing the plane to a CFI interested in seeing it in action. We were still about 20 miles out, but the controller was working us into the sequence with other planes, mostly trainers, setting up for practice approaches:

Seattle Approach: Cirrus Seven Charlie Delta, say airspeed.

Cirrus: Seven Charlie Delta is indicating 165.

Approach: Wow! Uh, okay. Cirrus Seven Charlie Delta, slow to 140 or less.

The CFI was rolling with joy, saying, "Dude, you got a 'Wow!'"

Short Final

Overheard in IFR Magazine's 'On the Air' Section
Overheard in IFR Magazine's "On the Air"

There is an approach into San Francisco (KSFO) known as the Quiet Bridge Visual. During this approach, commercial operators fly to the bridge and match up with another aircraft for the parallel runway.

NorCal Approach: United Four Five Three, report traffic 10 oclock one mile, a Skywest Brasilia in sight, and slow to one seven zero.

United 453: Traffic, bridge, airport, parking lot, and my car in sight.

NorCal: United Four Five Three, roger, cleared for the visual two eight right, enjoy your days off, contact tower.

Short Final

Overheard in IFR Magazine's 'On the Air' Section
Overheard in IFR Magazine's "On the Air"

Overheard while flying through Boston Approach's airspace one Sunday evening:

Boston Approach: Piper Four Five Mike, are you a single or twin?

Piper 45M: I am a single with twin envy.

Boston: Say again?

Piper 45M (slightly wistfulsounding): Piper Four Five Mike is a single-engine piston.

Short Final

Overheard in IFR Magazine's 'On the Air' Section
Overheard in IFR Magazine's "On the Air"

Overheard between a Cessna 310 driver and Chicago Center.

Chicago Center: Cessna One Two Three Five Bravo, Ill bring you in a little high so I dont lose radar contact while vectoring you to the ILS. Do you think youll have any problem losing the necessary altitude to make the approach?

Cessna 1235B: No problem Center, this baby comes down like a Bonanza full of doctors!

Short Final

Overheard in IFR Magazine's 'On the Air' Section
Overheard in IFR Magazine's "On the Air"

After 10 years of flying a Twin Comanche, I upgraded to a Beech Baron. With the Beechcraft Pilot Proficiency Program in Lakeland, Fla. under my belt, I advanced the throttles on my first PIC flight into Orlando airspace.

Me: Orlando Approach, Baron Eight Two Four just off Lakeland, five miles to the east, out of 1,200 for 3,500. Would like to coordinate a Class B entry en route to New Smyrna Beach, VFR.

Approach [in a classic southern drawl]: Baron Eight Two Four, this is Tampa Approach, and if you dont call us Orlando, we won't call you a Piper. Squawk two seven three zero and ident.

Short Final

Overheard in IFR Magazine's 'On the Air' Section
Overheard in IFR Magazine's "On the Air"

The following exchange took place en route to opening day at Sun 'n Fun last April

Bonanza: Jacksonville Center, Bonanza Four Seven Two Zero Yankee. 11,000.

Center: Bonanza Four Seven Two Zero Yankee, Roger, Jacksonville altimeter 30.12.

Bonanza: Are you working a lot of traffic to Lakeland this afternoon?

Center: I'll tell you what -- if you fell out of your airplane right now, you'd never hit the ground.

Short Final

Overheard in IFR Magazine's 'On the Air' Section
Overheard in IFR Magazine's "On the Air"

I heard this somewhere out East while in the clag and trying to find an approach plate:

Piper: Center, Lance Six Two Eight One November, with you at 7,000 feet.

Center (sounding tired): Lance, Six Two Eight One November, roger. But two things: first you don't need to say "feet" because that's understood. And more importantly, you aren't "with me." I know everybody in this radar room, and you aren't here.

Maybe we're scaring student pilots too much about what it's like inside a cloud.

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