Short Final

Short Final…

An exchange observed between the pilot of a sleek experimental and a Cessna driver shortly after they both taxied to the ramp...
Cessna Pilot: Wow. That thing really moves! You must have to wind the rubberband really tight.
Experimental Pilot: Nah, the kit came with an option for an extra hamster wheel. You're jealous?
Cessna Pilot: ...About 50 knots jealous, yes.

Short Final…

An exchange overheard between departure control at a Canadian airport and a B727 pilot.
Pilot: Where's Annule?
Dep. Control: What is it ... an intersection or something?
Pilot: I don't know.
Dep. Control: Where did you see it?
Pilot: On the screens in the terminal. Lots of airlines go there but the flight's always cancelled.
Dep. Control: (laughter) Welcome to Canada, Monsieur. "Annule" is French for "cancelled."
Pilot: Ah. Oui, oui.

Short Final…

While flying in Saturday morning around 10:30 am to the EAA southwest show at New Braunfel's (BAZ), the very busy tower and an experimental aircraft on final had this exchange.

Experimental ABX: "Tower, experimental ABX, I'm dodging a bunch of airplanes.

Tower: "Good, keep dodging. You're number 4 on final."

Short Final…

Years ago, as a student pilot, I remember the fear when my instructor told me we would be flying into Class B (then known as a TCA). What happens if I miss a call? What happens if I blow an altitude, or screw up a heading? He kept re-assuring me that I would do just fine. But I wasn't convinced.

I made contact and entered the airspace, flying my assigned altitude and heading with sweaty palms, listening to the pros.

Suddenly, ATC, in a very cynical, condescending tone, barked out "Northwest 560, WHERE are you going?"

A rather timid voice came back with "Heading 260, sir."

"I said 360! Fly heading 360. Just where do you think the airport is?"

"Roger ... 360" was the reply.

"Cessna XYZ, fly heading 300."

"Heading 300, Cessna XYZ."

"Thanks, at least SOMEONE here can follow instructions."

From that point on, flying in controlled airspace was no sweat.

Short Final…

Having just rolled out and made my way to the taxiway, I contacted ground control. The taxiways were very lengthy and one way. This would have added nearly a mile to my travel to the gas pumps which were only several hundred yards away. "Ground control, Cessna ***** at Alpha 6, can I "fudge" a bit and turn left to the pumps?" After a short pause, "Cessna *****, fudging approved."

Short Final…

We often have strong winds in Texas. But they usually pick a direction and stay put. This particular night while returning to home base at ADS, the ATIS said the winds were 150 at 15 (right down the runway). Since I was getting a real workout on the controls, I called for a wind check. Tower: "Variable, 120 to 180, 22 gusting to 32." Me: (With sarcasm) "Oh, that sounds like fun." Tower: "We've got the cameras rolling."

Short Final…

While flying between Ft Worth TX and Baton Rouge, LA I had to make a fuel stop as the Yak has only a 31 gallon tank to keep wayward Russian trainees close to home. I chose Many,La for a quick turn around and then on to BTR. After landing in Many, I taxied up to the pump, jumped out and streched my legs. While enjoying the small airport environment on this beautiful day, the silence was broken by the sound of 3 turbine Air Tractors coming in at low level and landing. They taxied smartly up to the parking area close to the fuel pumps and spun around into their parking spots and shut down their engines. All three pilots jumped down from their Air Tractors and started walking toward me.One of the pilots yelled out "Do you speak English?" in his thick Texas accent. All could think to say was "Nhyet".

Short Final…

After arriving in SLC we checked in with the ground controller. His radio wasn't the clearest. As we were taxiing to the ramp another aircraft asked the controller, "Has anyone else told you your communications are garbled?" Ground replied, "My Wife!"

Short Final…

A friend of mine was cruising along in his turbo arrow at 18,000 feet one day when a 737 was called out to him at his 1 o'clock and 15 miles passing to his left. The 737 crew was similarly advised. When they passed, the 737 Capt remarked "What are you doing up here?" My friend replied, "About a 178 knots."

Short Final…

Seen on a Yahoo Message Board regarding a story about a pilot who Sunday made a successful emergency landing on a freeway in Anaheim, Calif.:"THIS JUST IN - Chicago Mayor Richard Daley plans to carve giant "X"es into the Riverside Freeway at midnight tonight."
Yeah, probably it was. But that's the shape of the future. If the thrill is worth it—and for most of us, it is—go for it.

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