More Actual Transmissions by O’Hare TRACON
More ATC humor from The NATCA Voice, the newsletter of the National Air Traffic Controllers Association.
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"Approach, how far from the airport are we in minutes?"
"N923, the faster you go, the quicker you'll get here." -
"American Two-Twenty, Eneey, meeny, miney, moe, how doyou hear my radio?"
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"Air Wisconsin Three-Thirty-Five, caution wake turbulence, there is an Air Wisconsin Three-Forty-Five on the frequency."
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"I don't mind altitude separation as long as they'renot on top of each other."
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"We were told Rwy 9...we'll take out the 14R approach plate."
"Captain you got sixty miles to take it out...have a ball." -
"The traffic at nine o'clock's gonna do a little Linda Ronstadt on you."
"Linda Ronstadt? What's that?"
"Well, sir, they're gonna 'Blue Bayou'." -
"I can see the country club down below...look's likea lot of controllers out there!"
"Yes, sir, there is...and they're caddying for DC-10 drivers like you." -
"N07K you look like you're established on the localizerand I don't know the names of any of the fixes, you're clearedfor the ILS approach. Call the tower."
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"AmTran 726, sorry about that, Center thought you werea Midway arrival. Just sit back, relax and pass out some morecookies...we'll get you to Milwaukee."
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"Approach, what's our sequence?"
"Calling for the sequence I missed your callsign, but ifI find out what it is, you're last." -
"Sure you can have eight miles behind the heavy...there'll be a United tri-jet between you and him."
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"Approach, SWA436, you want us to turn right to 090?"
"No, I want your brother to turn. Just do it and don't argue." -
"Approach UAL525 what's this aircraft doing at my altitude?"
"UAL525, what makes you think it's YOUR altitude, Captain?" -
"DAL1176, say speed."
"DAL1176, we slowed it down to two-twenty."
"DAL1176 pick it back up to two-fifty...this ain't Atlanta, and them ain't grits on the ground." -
"Request Runway 27 Right."
"Unable."
"Approach, do you know the wind at six thousand is 270 at fifty?"
"Yeah, I do, and if we could jack the airport up to fifty-fivehundred you could have that runway. Expect 14 Right." -
"Air Force Four-Five, it appears your engine has...oh,disregard...I see you've already ejected."
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"The first officer says he's got you in sight."
"Roger, the first officer's cleared for a visual approach runway 27 Right...you continue on that 180 heading and descendto three thousand." -
"Hey, O'Hare, you see the 7600 code flashing five northwest of Gary?"
"Yeah, I do...you guys talkin' to him?" -
"Approach, what's the tower?"
"That's a big tall building with glass all around it, but that's not important right now." -
"How far behind traffic are we?"
"Three miles."
"That doesn't look like three miles to us!"
"You're a mile and a half from him, he's a mile and a half from you...that's three miles."