My VIP passenger showed up late for a two-hour flight. At 4,000 feet, we were halfway to the destination when he announced his bowels needed immediate attention and landing right now was not an option.
"Chicago Center, Five Eight Six Five Papa requests an immediate landing at Kankakee for a 10-minute stop, then continue with no change in flight plan."
"What's the reason for the request, sir?"
"From the expression on his face, I'd say my passenger has his sphincter at max pucker. And the successful outcome of the effort is seriously in doubt."
ATC (after a long pause) :
"Six Five Papa, call me when airborne. And good luck to all!"
West Bend, Wisconsin
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