Short Final

Citation XXX: 127.35, have a nice day.

Boston Center: Citation XXX, that frequency is 123.75.

Citation XXX: Sorry, 123.75, we were dyslexic but were KO now.

Departure Control: Continental ABC turn left heading 240 degrees and climb to 11,000.

[long pause]

Departure Control: Continental ABC, Simon says turn left heading 240 degrees and climb to 11,000.

Continental ABC: Roger, left turn 240 and up to 11,000, Continental ABC.

Continental XXX: Well sir, we are doing 2000fpm

Controller: Could you make it 3000 fpm?

Continental XXX: No Sir.

Controller: Oh ... do you not have speedbrakes?

Continental: Yes sir, I do, but that is for MY mistakes, not for YOURS!

Overheard on tower frequency at El Monte, Ca. airport, several years ago...

Tower: "Cessna Nxxxx., say your location."

Cessna Nxxxx: "I'm over here!"

As I was heading across the Desert a few monthes back, at the height of the Iraqi war, and wanting to cut through R2515 around Edwards Air Force Base, I had the following exchange with Joshua Approach...
Joshua Approach, Musketeer 123 requesting transition through R2515.
Joshua: Restricted area currently off limits, but let me talk to them at Edwards.
(About 20 seconds of dead air and then Joshua came back to me.)
Joshua: Musketeer 123, Proceed through the restricted area as requested, they need some practice on slow targets.

United 1234: "Springs Approach, United 1234. We cant read the localizer. Is there a problem?"

Approach: "The box is actually sitting right behind me. Theyre doing an upgrade and it should be back in service this Winter."

United 1234: "We cant hold that long."

Pilot: "Cessna 123, still holding short."

Tower: " Cessna 123, Hold your taters."

Pilot: "Taters held, over."

Tower: "Cessna 123, release taters, [chuckle] Runway 33, position and hold."

The VP was impressed and the pilot is now known company-wide as "Tater".