Short Final

Short Final…

I fly skydivers and am talking to controllers at the best ATC facility around quite often. One day traffic on the frequency was a little light so one of the controllers had a little fun:
Cessna123: Jumpers away!
Approach (in his best kid-on-a-ride voice): WEEEEEEE!

Short Final…

After holding short of runway 4, with no traffic in sight and the vice-president of the company riding shotgun ...

Pilot: "Cessna 123, still holding short."

Tower: " Cessna 123, Hold your taters."

Pilot: "Taters held, over."

Tower: "Cessna 123, release taters, [chuckle] Runway 33, position and hold."

The VP was impressed and the pilot is now known company-wide as "Tater".

Short Final…

The July 3-20 Inventing Flight celebration in Dayton, Ohio, kicked off this weekend with a hot air balloon launch and a visit by President Bush. Events celebrating 100 years of flight will continue at various locations through the year

Nearly fifty yars ago when I was a NAVCAD (Naval Aviation Cadet), one of our classmates had an accident. One of the accident board members asked him what he thought caused the accident.

His reply: "Well sir, I ran out of airspeed, altitude and ideas all at the same time."

Short Final…

The definition of irony: Naming an airport after a President that fired all of the Air Traffic Controllers.

Short Final…

An exchange observed between the pilot of a sleek experimental and a Cessna driver shortly after they both taxied to the ramp...
Cessna Pilot: Wow. That thing really moves! You must have to wind the rubberband really tight.
Experimental Pilot: Nah, the kit came with an option for an extra hamster wheel. You're jealous?
Cessna Pilot: ...About 50 knots jealous, yes.

Short Final…

An exchange overheard between departure control at a Canadian airport and a B727 pilot.
Pilot: Where's Annule?
Dep. Control: What is it ... an intersection or something?
Pilot: I don't know.
Dep. Control: Where did you see it?
Pilot: On the screens in the terminal. Lots of airlines go there but the flight's always cancelled.
Dep. Control: (laughter) Welcome to Canada, Monsieur. "Annule" is French for "cancelled."
Pilot: Ah. Oui, oui.

Short Final…

While flying in Saturday morning around 10:30 am to the EAA southwest show at New Braunfel's (BAZ), the very busy tower and an experimental aircraft on final had this exchange.

Experimental ABX: "Tower, experimental ABX, I'm dodging a bunch of airplanes.

Tower: "Good, keep dodging. You're number 4 on final."

Short Final…

Years ago, as a student pilot, I remember the fear when my instructor told me we would be flying into Class B (then known as a TCA). What happens if I miss a call? What happens if I blow an altitude, or screw up a heading? He kept re-assuring me that I would do just fine. But I wasn't convinced.

I made contact and entered the airspace, flying my assigned altitude and heading with sweaty palms, listening to the pros.

Suddenly, ATC, in a very cynical, condescending tone, barked out "Northwest 560, WHERE are you going?"

A rather timid voice came back with "Heading 260, sir."

"I said 360! Fly heading 360. Just where do you think the airport is?"

"Roger ... 360" was the reply.

"Cessna XYZ, fly heading 300."

"Heading 300, Cessna XYZ."

"Thanks, at least SOMEONE here can follow instructions."

From that point on, flying in controlled airspace was no sweat.

Short Final…

Having just rolled out and made my way to the taxiway, I contacted ground control. The taxiways were very lengthy and one way. This would have added nearly a mile to my travel to the gas pumps which were only several hundred yards away. "Ground control, Cessna ***** at Alpha 6, can I "fudge" a bit and turn left to the pumps?" After a short pause, "Cessna *****, fudging approved."

Short Final…

We often have strong winds in Texas. But they usually pick a direction and stay put. This particular night while returning to home base at ADS, the ATIS said the winds were 150 at 15 (right down the runway). Since I was getting a real workout on the controls, I called for a wind check. Tower: "Variable, 120 to 180, 22 gusting to 32." Me: (With sarcasm) "Oh, that sounds like fun." Tower: "We've got the cameras rolling."
The FAA recently relaxed some cardiac data requirements and some say it's because COVID vaccinations have caused such widespread heart damage.

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