Short Final

Short Final…

From our "Finer Points of Maintenance" file...

"Remember, you really only need two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use the WD-40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use the duct tape."

Short Final…

From our brain burps file...

Tower: Fokker 170, hold position.

Fokker 170: I don't know how to do that.

(pause)

Manila Tower: [Airliner] 2, hold position. Fokker 170, continue approach, cleared to land.

Short Final…

Overheard enroute from RMG to 45J...

Pilot: Approach, Skylane N###, Could I have a right turn direct mydestination?

Approach: Standby. I'll check to see if that Dash 8 doing 200 knots up your five-o'clock feels like wearing you on his lapel...

Short Final…

Submitted to you without further comment ... the pilots of Cessna ABC weren't as lucky.

Cessna XYZ: Cessna ABC, Cessna XYZ return to base due to turbulence. Student unwell.

Cessna ABC: Cessna XYZ, my student suggests it will be better for the both of you if you climb on top.

Short Final…

A Cessna 182 and a Christen Eagle were on parallel approach for 28L and 28R, respectively, at FCM...

Tower: Cessna XXX, do you have traffic?

Cessna: Cessna XXX has the traffic, he's right beside me.

Tower: Eagle XXX, traffic is a Cessna 182 on parallel for 28L, Eagle XXX is cleared for landing, Runway 28R.

Christen Eagle: Roger, Eagle XXX has traffic, cleared to land Runway 28R.

Cessna: Tower, Cessna XXX here, can you let me know when ...

(pause)

.... "the Eagle has landed"?

(Several seconds of silence on frequency.)

Unidentified voice: Smart @ss.

Short Final…

Overheard in the pilot's lounge, a student pilot receives a briefing over a speakerphone...

Pilot: I've never flown into there before. Do you have anything you can tell me aside from the weather?

Briefer: The windsock is inoperable.

(pause)

Briefer: Apparently their wind is out of service.

Short Final…

Overheard while awaiting clearance at Wellington Airport, NZ, in poor, gusty weather...

Tower: XXX be advised the previous aircraft reports reduced wind shear on final, and decreasing crosswind.

XXX: "Oh. Goody..."

Short Final…

Overheard while approaching the control zone in Wellington, New Zealand.......

ZKxxx: Request entry into the zone with Charlie 1021, currently 20 miles to the south west at 2500.

Wellington Tower: Cleared to enter the zone via the Sinclair Sector 1500 feet or below.

ZKxxx: Cleared to enter the zone via Sinclair at 1500 or below.

(A few minutes later...)

Tower: ZKxxx, suggest you descend to 1500 immediate to avoid a fast approaching pile of paperwork.

Short Final…

From our gender issues file...

During an IFR training flight, while getting vectored to the ILS-35, on a heading of 090...

Approach (female controller): Cardinal XXX, turn left heading 350 to intercept, cleared for the approach... Sorry for the bad vector, if you go through the localizer, continue left turn to 330 to intercept.

Cardinal XXX (male instructor): No problem, it was a perfect turn on...

... to the final approach course I mean!

Short Final…

From our "been there, done that" files...

On my first cross-country with friends after passing my private pilot checkride (back in the late Paleolithic...), I was in the runup area, working through the pre-takeoff checklist. An uncharacteristically subdued voice said from the rear seat, "If she still has to read the directions, I don't think I want to go!"

Last week's tragic Bonanza crash featured two elements that reinforced long-standing stereotypes - which may or may not apply here. We just don't know, yet.

Featured Video

Featured Video: A Tribute To Bud Anderson

EAA put together this nice tribute to Brig. Gen. Bud Anderson and his favorite mount during the 2019 AirVenture.