Short Final

Short Final…

Carrier 1234: Cape Approach, can we get direct Boston?

Approach: Your wish is my command...

Carrier 1234: Approach, got time for another wish?

Approach: Nope, you used up your wish.

Carrier 1234: I don't get three?

Approach: Carrier 1234, did you say Boston, or Austin?

Carrier 1234: ...I'll take that as a "No."

Short Final…

All pilots, use caution for flocks of birds on and in the vicinity of the airport...

Tower: Skyhawk XXXXX, be advised there are 10,000 seagulls near the approach of runway 15.

Skyhawk: Roger. Is that an official count?

Tower: Just a quick count.

(pause)
Tower: Skyhawk XXXXX, be advised there are 10,435 seagulls near the approach of runway 15 ... and you're cleared for the option.

Short Final…

Overheard at KLAS, Dec. 19, 2003, 9:30pm...

ATC: NABCD, after departure turn left heading 175 climb and maintain at or below 4,000, departure 125.9 and squawk XXXX.

Pilot: Any chance of a higher inital altitude?

ATC: We give you 4,000 in case of lost com.

Pilot: I know thats why I want higher.

Short Final…

Heard on the Ellington Field ATIS on Christmas Eve.:

"... on initial contact advise you have Ellington information Rudolph."

Short Final…

Overheard December 18, 2003, at a local gliderport...

"A moment of silence everyone, for today we celebrate the 100th anniversary of the tow plane."

Short Final…

At a busy local airport one sunny Saturday flight instructors were hopping in and out of different aircraft all day long:

Unidentified pilot: Montgomery Ground, Cessna, er, Cessna ... wait ... who am I today?
[pause]
I'll have to call you back.

Ground: Roger, call back when you know who you are.

Short Final

Taxing back for a departure on Rwy 23 at Morristown (MMU), I noticed a group of 10 or so snow geese walking across the taxiway toward the runway. I paused for a moment and started to maneuver in behind the group of waterfowl. Then I heard ...

GROUND CONTROL: Cessna 123, those things are really a pain in the tail feathers.

ME: Some one is going to have to teach them a lesson.

GROUND: (refering to a Citation on short final) It looks like they are going to get that lesson.

UNIDENTIFIED: "Mmmm -- Pate!"

Short Final…

Over Philly on a gorgeous CAVU Sunday...

Cessna XXX: Philly approach, Cessna XXX with you at 4,500.

Philly Approach: Cessna XXX, Roger, Altimeter 30.69 and numerous targets in your vicinity.

Cessna XXX: Could you be more specific about the targets?

Philly Approach: OK, 12 o'clock, 1 o'clock, 2 o'clock, 3 o'clock, 4 o'clock, 5 o'clock - would you like me to continue?

Cessna XXX: Negative, we get the picture...

Short Final…

When I called the Oakland FSS today for a preflight briefing and asked about TFRs in the area I received probably the best explanation so far of what the blanket National Security NOTAM meant in practice: "Just the usual one that's been in place for a while, you know, don't be makin' pylon turns around the Golden Gate bridge..."

Short Final…

Overheard recently -- while I was literally on short final, in fact:

Tower: Cessna XXX, you said you were at taxiway Alpha One? Alpha Two?

Cessna XXX: Uh... We're holding at Alpha Three.

Tower: Right. One plus Two equals Three.

My highlights from Sun 'n Fun. What did I miss?

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