Short Final

Pilot: Approach, Skylane N###, Could I have a right turn direct mydestination?

Approach: Standby. I'll check to see if that Dash 8 doing 200 knots up your five-o'clock feels like wearing you on his lapel...

Cessna XYZ: Cessna ABC, Cessna XYZ return to base due to turbulence. Student unwell.

Cessna ABC: Cessna XYZ, my student suggests it will be better for the both of you if you climb on top.

Tower: Cessna XXX, do you have traffic?

Cessna: Cessna XXX has the traffic, he's right beside me.

Tower: Eagle XXX, traffic is a Cessna 182 on parallel for 28L, Eagle XXX is cleared for landing, Runway 28R.

Christen Eagle: Roger, Eagle XXX has traffic, cleared to land Runway 28R.

Cessna: Tower, Cessna XXX here, can you let me know when ...

(pause)

.... "the Eagle has landed"?

(Several seconds of silence on frequency.)

Unidentified voice: Smart @ss.

Pilot: I've never flown into there before. Do you have anything you can tell me aside from the weather?

Briefer: The windsock is inoperable.

(pause)

Briefer: Apparently their wind is out of service.

Tower: XXX be advised the previous aircraft reports reduced wind shear on final, and decreasing crosswind.

XXX: "Oh. Goody..."

ZKxxx: Request entry into the zone with Charlie 1021, currently 20 miles to the south west at 2500.

Wellington Tower: Cleared to enter the zone via the Sinclair Sector 1500 feet or below.

ZKxxx: Cleared to enter the zone via Sinclair at 1500 or below.

(A few minutes later...)

Tower: ZKxxx, suggest you descend to 1500 immediate to avoid a fast approaching pile of paperwork.

During an IFR training flight, while getting vectored to the ILS-35, on a heading of 090...

Approach (female controller): Cardinal XXX, turn left heading 350 to intercept, cleared for the approach... Sorry for the bad vector, if you go through the localizer, continue left turn to 330 to intercept.

Cardinal XXX (male instructor): No problem, it was a perfect turn on...

... to the final approach course I mean!

On my first cross-country with friends after passing my private pilot checkride (back in the late Paleolithic...), I was in the runup area, working through the pre-takeoff checklist. An uncharacteristically subdued voice said from the rear seat, "If she still has to read the directions, I don't think I want to go!"

re: Business AVflash Volume 2, Issue 4 -- February 25, 2004.

You referred to "East Overshoe, Wyoming" in your articleabout the TSA. East Overshoe is in Connecticut. The town you're thinking of is Medicine Breath, Wyoming.

Approach: November XXXX say again type.

NXXXX: We're a Beech 19. You know, the little one.

Approach: Roger. So what you're saying is you're a little son of a Beech.