Short Final

Short Final…

Overheard while awaiting clearance at Wellington Airport, NZ, in poor, gusty weather...

Tower: XXX be advised the previous aircraft reports reduced wind shear on final, and decreasing crosswind.

XXX: "Oh. Goody..."

Short Final…

Overheard while approaching the control zone in Wellington, New Zealand.......

ZKxxx: Request entry into the zone with Charlie 1021, currently 20 miles to the south west at 2500.

Wellington Tower: Cleared to enter the zone via the Sinclair Sector 1500 feet or below.

ZKxxx: Cleared to enter the zone via Sinclair at 1500 or below.

(A few minutes later...)

Tower: ZKxxx, suggest you descend to 1500 immediate to avoid a fast approaching pile of paperwork.

Short Final…

From our gender issues file...

During an IFR training flight, while getting vectored to the ILS-35, on a heading of 090...

Approach (female controller): Cardinal XXX, turn left heading 350 to intercept, cleared for the approach... Sorry for the bad vector, if you go through the localizer, continue left turn to 330 to intercept.

Cardinal XXX (male instructor): No problem, it was a perfect turn on...

... to the final approach course I mean!

Short Final…

From our "been there, done that" files...

On my first cross-country with friends after passing my private pilot checkride (back in the late Paleolithic...), I was in the runup area, working through the pre-takeoff checklist. An uncharacteristically subdued voice said from the rear seat, "If she still has to read the directions, I don't think I want to go!"

Short Final…

From our "Fans of Business AVflash" file:

re: Business AVflash Volume 2, Issue 4 -- February 25, 2004.

You referred to "East Overshoe, Wyoming" in your articleabout the TSA. East Overshoe is in Connecticut. The town you're thinking of is Medicine Breath, Wyoming.

Short Final…

"While flying the Santa Monica VOR-A approach tonight, I heard SoCal approach say..."

Approach: November XXXX say again type.

NXXXX: We're a Beech 19. You know, the little one.

Approach: Roger. So what you're saying is you're a little son of a Beech.

Short Final…

Overheard at Bankstown Airport in suburban Sydney...

Tower: ABC, cleared for takeoff. Caution for a rabbit at the far end of the runway.

ABC: Roger rabbit...

Short Final…

From our, "There's a right way, and then there's other ways," file...

Tower: Cessna XXX cleared to land 20.

Cessna: Cleared to land 20.

Tower: Cessna XXX can you land and hold short 31-13.
(brief pause.....)
Cessna: You bethca.

Tower: XXX is that a roger.

Cessna: ...Roger. Land and hold short 31-13.

Short Final…

Tower: Skyhawk xxx follow Baron on four mile final for 17L.

Skyhawk: Baron in sight.

a little later...

Tower: Skyhawk you're 10 knots faster than the Baron. Slow down.

Skyhawk: Yeeha!!! (Followed by hysterical laughter.)

Tower: Right... Not something you hear every day.

Short Final…

Carrier 1234: Cape Approach, can we get direct Boston?

Approach: Your wish is my command...

Carrier 1234: Approach, got time for another wish?

Approach: Nope, you used up your wish.

Carrier 1234: I don't get three?

Approach: Carrier 1234, did you say Boston, or Austin?

Carrier 1234: ...I'll take that as a "No."

Tips on avoiding the CEO's depressingly long compendium of stupidity.

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